I've been thinking about it for some time, but I can't find a suitable solution; I find myself talking about it in the teachers' room, in an hour of shared interval, with my colleague and friend Matilde who, from what is said around, has a good ability to orientate herself in certain problems; I took courage with both hands, I explain that I feel the intensity of the relationships with Osvaldo, my husband, fading: not that love or passion or intellectual understanding have failed (sex, heart and brain, the three poles of reference for my way of understanding love relationships); rather, I register a fogging of the three, not very serious but certainly deleterious, especially if added together; at the same time, I see a strong understanding grow with my recently transferred Italian colleague, with whom I find myself very often and with much inner joy in dialoguing with poetry and literature, especially love; Matilde seems to be raining a bit from the clouds.
“Patrizia, but you didn't tell me just a week ago that Osvaldo fully satisfied you, from the point of view of sex because he has a very remarkable member and he can use it with great wisdom and effectiveness; from the emotional point of view because it still treats you with the delicacy and attention of when you were sexting boyfriends; from a cultural point of view, why are you still able to discuss intelligently about everyday realities? "
“I have not said that this agreement has failed, from any point of view: we continue to speak with interest about many things, we have sex with passion and it is full of attentions; but everything is as muffled, moldy in some way; I would like to see if with another male I am able to revive certain emotions that in the memory are loaded with mythicity. "
Matilde looks very surprised and wonders: according to her, I put the cart in front of the oxen a bit and look for the crack in a flawless reality with the risk of breaking a beautiful toy and which, after fifteen years of marriage, still holds up very well and does his duty; I explain to her that I don't want to destroy anything but that I only feel the need to make a check, to take a break, to take a break, to check the reactions of my body and my spirit in a past weekend with a male who gives me the feeling to be able to give me more; Naturally, Matilde continues to offer me her doubts: how my husband will take it, what I can offer him in concrete terms, what consequences an experimentation of that kind can have.
I explain that Osvaldo has always told me that having sex with others may not be serious, as long as everything happens in clarity and loyalty, concord and conscience: I will explain my intentions to him, I will hear his opinion but in any case I will claim my right to have a weekend of my own free sex, if necessary; in return, he will have the power to indulge himself in the same weekend: if you had to discover a different dimension of love, then you would have to review the relationship; if I found that intellectual convergence does not affect the substance of the relationships, I would soon download the other; if I discovered that it is only a session of free sex, as Osvaldo says, it will be enough to wash the residues; I tell you that in any case I will speak with Osvaldo and that I am convinced that the idea of having both the deductible for a weekend will convince him; Matilde warns me that if Osvaldo finds himself to be a free prey, he will be the first to try to lust him with a very good chance of success, given the already very strong friendship between us.
In the evening I talk to Osvaldo about it, immediately after dinner; at the beginning he seems almost angry and offended, then he calms down and discusses it: he understands my need but asks me to reflect that respect for people is fundamental; if I take the holiday, he has the same right to take it, this time and, if it still happens, all the more reason on other occasions; I can only allow; he asks me where I intend to exercise my freedom of sex and I inform him that I will go to the cottage, a small chalet, facing the sea with a large strip of pebbles in front, inside and very fine sand, towards the shoreline, in a very position suggestive for romantic encounters.
He warns me that he will bring home the women he intends to covet during his vacation: in the face of my reservations about the desecration of the wedding thalamus, he first makes me observe that the thalamus is also the bed in the seaside chalet (which already proves, in itself , which I use different meters to measure mine and others' actions) and which, ultimately, can fall back on the guest room or, at worst, in the small garconniere that was obtained behind the office, initially for some afternoon rest, when he works too much in the hot season, and who can now take on the typical function of the garconniere; I am hesitant in any case, but points out that it would be very painful to have to take refuge in a hotel; I agree that perhaps the guest bedroom can work as needed.
In each mod
or, once again I impose my point of view, about the greater 'sacredness' of the 'thalamus' of the house over that of the chalet; nor do I realize that I am wrong and that Osvaldo, patient, glisses over the choice and adjusts himself so as not to create other reasons for friction.
The following day I talk to Carlo, my colleague who intrigues me, and we decide that the following Friday we will arrive at school with baggage ready and with only one car (I will take a taxi); immediately after the end of the lessons we will leave for our weekend of freedom of love; Matilde, who hangs out in the surroundings apparently engaged in something else, points her ear and records everything; immediately afterwards she makes a phone call but I am too excited about the idea of transgression to take care of her; from that moment I start to fibrillate like a little girl at the first summer flirt and I can't wait for Friday's finis bell to leave for 'my' holiday; in a moment of meeting in the teachers' room, Matilde recommends me to stock up on condoms if I intend to have sex for three days; I point out that I am protected because I regularly take the birth control pill.
"... which offers absolutely no guarantee against particular infections such as AIDS: considering that you intend to have wild sex with a stranger, the minimum of common sense requires you to take precautions."
I look at her pissed off, but only because it reminds me of a caution I should have been careful about: for a moment, I doubt that my choices are not careful enough, but I am too obstinate and tingy to admit it, with Matilde as with my husband.
At home, with Osvaldo, the dialogue is quite difficult and thorny, even if he tries to dilute it in irony; I warn him that I will not use our car and he thanks me ironically because at least I will leave that availability; jokes that he will finally have the opportunity to have sex in a 'human' and varied way, after the long string of 'missionary' intercourse which is the only way I do it; I send it to the devil almost annoyed, also because, underneath, I know that it is deeply true and that, between the two, the one who made the relationships monotonous is me: but I would not publicly admit it even under torture; in the end, he assures me that he is preparing three days of fire with wonderful women for him; ironically.
"But stop ... Rodolfo Valentino has arrived!"
"Patrizia, my love (in spite of everything), the only thing that really makes me suffer in this choice is the certainty that you will come back with your crest lowered and perhaps with your arms in the sack: this hurts me more than some embrace that you can achieve , because, as I always told you, the remnants of a relationship are canceled in the shower; wounds in the soul hurt for a long time. "
I prefer not to even listen to him further and I close myself in my joyful expectation of finally proposing (or, better, imposing) my point of view, my way of being; not even for a moment it occurs to me to ask him or to ask me who will take my place in those three days: he has already taken care to meet Carlo and told me that he has obtained a negative impression, that of a vain word that hides an instinctive roughness; of course, he first admitted that perhaps his judgment is distorted by jealousy and I am firmly convinced that he cannot judge because he is too biased.
On Friday, at half past one in the afternoon, the bell gives us the go-ahead for our 'freedom of sex' whose contours I really can't even see; since we must also eat, we stop along the way for a snack in a typical restaurant; the time to consume a plate of cured meats and cheeses is an opportunity to deepen a knowledge that has basically remained superficial: our speeches have always revolved around literature; we have told ourselves very little about ourselves, beyond what could belong to the didactic function; inevitably, the hands touch and the caresses begin to weigh: when I see him approach his face with his, he panics me to be in a public place and, instinctively, I withdraw; at the same time I am worried at the thought that soon a part of that body will enter mine and I cannot evaluate the reaction that I am experiencing now or, even less, those that I will experience later.
We resume the journey; Carlo is a little troubled by my unexpected refusal, but I think he has realized my hesitation and reaches out to take mine: I hold it affectionately and it strengthens the sense of friendship with which we left; arrived at the chalet, we bring the suitcases into the house and, once the door is closed, Carlo embraces me strongly and with his mouth he captures mine in a sensual and enveloping kiss, while his member presses me firmly on the pubis: I participate in his kiss and I return it with interest, but I don't feel very agitated; not even the pressure on the lower abdomen
it really moves my senses; nimbly withdrawing from his maneuvers to push me on the bed, I try to take him out of the house to let him admire the beauty of the scenery that the place offers; but I realize that he is somewhat distracted by the panorama and that he prefers to admire my flourishing breast in which he insinuates a hand, whispering me that looking at a beautiful landscape stroking a beautiful breast is much more poetic.
I do not declare my disappointment and let him do it; he brings me into the house kissing my face and I coldly give in to his sweet violence; when we are beside the bed, she begins to open my dress and slides it to the ground, leaving me half-naked; then she also takes off my bra and briefs, leaving me in suspenders and shoes; while I take off my socks and shoes, he begins to undress; when I am lying naked on the bed, she comes over me and tries to bring her member to the height of my mouth: it is not a practice that I like and I move it towards the belly, I spread my legs and invite him to nod to penetrate me; she does it quickly and in one stroke I feel the vagina full of her rod: it's not Osvaldo and I don't feel filled and almost aching, but only gently tickled and I try to get an orgasm, but it has already come before I have time to get excited ; it unloads from my body and lies down beside me; there is no chance for me to enjoy: I don't like masturbating, Osvaldo always does it at home if, due to some unfortunate coincidence, he has not managed to make me reach the right orgasm; I have the feeling that the decision to have sex with a stranger who of natural beauty speaks only to conquer a poor deluded person has not been very happy.
We sleep a few hours and, as soon as I wake up, Carlo gets on me again and this time he tries to put into practice ways of sex that I had also discussed with Osvaldo but that I had never wanted to practice: I masturbate him a little but I am forced to tell him, with his grave disappointment, that I don't feel like practicing fellatio and that the cunnilingual turns out to be unsanitary; in conclusion, I let him understand that I only have 'missionary' sex and, when he tries to rest it on my anus, I strongly reject it.
We go out to go to dinner in a restaurant by the sea in the nearby town and, during dinner, I make it clear that sex is not the first of my interests and that I practice it not by choice but only as a physiological need; of course, he is very upset and finds that three days of not understanding each other and giving up are unbearable; we decide to return the next morning; in bed, he still tries various approaches for different ways of having sex and I still tell him clearly that to my partner, whoever he is, I only allow a normal 'missionary': he asks me at least to prepare him with a masturbation, which I practice unwillingly; then it penetrates me and, after a few strokes that do not excite me, it explodes into a new orgasm.
I wake up almost at dawn and I am tempted to wake Osvaldo too; then I reflect that it is not appropriate to show up so early; I wait for Carlo to wake up and in the meantime I prepare my suitcase; ultimately, at about nine o'clock we leave for the city and shortly after eleven o'clock a taxi drops me at my house: the car is in the garage, a sign that my husband is at home, perhaps in the guest room with his friend: a tip of jealousy, absurd !, pinches me inside, as I approach the door and open with my keys.
"Patrizia are you?"
The voice comes from the guest room.
"Yes. Can I come in?"
“It would be better not, actually. I wasn't expecting you until tomorrow evening. How come so early? "
"I got it all wrong; it was a real failure. I'm sorry … "
Osvaldo leaves the room covered only by a bathrobe; I ask him if he is in company, if he was having sex and if I disturbed him; he tells me that yes, he is in the company of a woman he had invited for the weekend, that they were making love when I came in and that now the situation is particularly delicate due to the need to reconcile different and conflicting needs; I recognize that, perhaps, at least one phone call had to be made to him to warn him before he fell on him so unexpectedly; I ask him if I can meet the woman who occupied my seat for that night.
“What if it's a boy? Didn't you yourself reproach me that I was presumptuous to believe myself Rudolph Valentino? "
“Even if it were, at this moment I don't feel like judging anything: an idiot like me, in fact not in words, is unable to judge anything; so I assure you that I am ready to accept any reality and to review with you, if you are still available with me as you were until the day before yesterday, all my beliefs, to do everything that is right to adapt my presumption to reality. "
"Hell, you must have gone through really bad, to be at this point!"
It was not Osvaldo who spoke, but I immediately recognized Matilde's voice emerging from the door wrapped in a sheet almost like a ghost
"Matilde! You?!?!?!"
"Already!!!! I told you I would be the first to covet Osvaldo if you left your prey free. Now, however, the fact is that my husband believes me out of town, even with you, in a place where there is no field for the telephone. What are we doing? Are you going back to my house and explaining to my husband that you were disappointed and went back? "
"Let me pick up a little, please ... too many things all together ..."
Osvaldo takes up the thread of the conversation a little.
"What happened?"
“It happened that you were right: a crude mystifier who uses a culture of impact to impress: I fell hands and feet, I was ashamed of myself and I immediately interrupted an experience that only an idiot could consider useful. "
"But, concretely, what happened?"
"It happened that in less than twenty-four hours he owned me three times; I imposed my way of having sex on the missionary, and it seemed very annoyed to me, she would have demanded practices that I do not consider or reject; so it's over before we start. "
“Well, three intercourse in less than a day, it's not a thing to despise; how is the equipment? "
Matilde spoke, but it makes me smile.
“I don't know how many times Osvaldo has owned you; if I know him, it was no different, also because I imposed limits on him which, as he had announced, he finally broke up with you. For the rest, it went far better than me; I wouldn't exchange Osvaldo with anyone from that point of view. "
"Excuse me, but to be elegant I just have to remind you of a Masini title, 'beautiful st ....' You had to get banged by an imbecile to find out that the best you had at home? At least, have you enjoyed? Three times …?"
“No, not even a little bit. I assure you that I am more excited to see you half naked that you have just finished having sex with Osvaldo, than to be penetrated by the unknown one. Speaking of which, would you lend me my husband for a few minutes? I need to enjoy it at least once! "
“I think things take a very strange turn. In short, did you come back to be owned by your husband, after discovering that it is the best on the square even with the wedding tare? "
“More: I am happy that you are there too, because in reality I came back here to learn something about sex which, as far as I understand, is not unknown to you; and maybe having a teacher like you at your side will help me understand myself better. "
"Are you even proposing a mènage à trois, you and Osvaldo, to direct yourself on the practices of sex and learn to exploit them to feed a love that you considered dead and didn't you realize that it was you who was killing him?"
“You have an ability to be brutal with love and friendship to the point that you can only appreciate yourself. Exactly; the only thing I managed to learn from this busted affair is that having sex has implications that I had never even thought of. Does it bother you if I ask you to make me understand them? "
"No; but first of all you must also ask Osvaldo who must put all the ingredients, sex, heart and brain; moreover you must be ready to clean up many preventions that make you obtuse; finally, you have to endure even a little pain because certain practices are not painless but give so much, so much, so much pleasure. "
"Osvaldo, do you feel like taking this path with me to get to be more and better in love with each other?"
“I have always been available with you, even when I knew you were wrong; this time I know it's not a mistake, but it can potentially become one, if you get carried away by excessive desires, excesses, challenges and experiments. I teach you everything I know and that it is right for you to know. But correct use can only be suggested by your intelligence and common sense. Do you remember how you defined the preliminary characters to be free to act with respect to your partner? You said, as Matilde attests, that they need clarity and loyalty, concord and conscience. If you have this strength, everything can be worth. If, on the other hand, you get carried away, you enter a dangerous spiral: as Leopardi suggests, the more you know, the more you discover you don't know and you want to know. If you go beyond the lawful, our relationship will await you. "
"One mistake was enough!"
The following hours, until Sunday afternoon, are used to review all the possible ways of having sex, almost going through an ideal illustrated catalog like the tiles painted in the lupanar of Pompeii: thus I discover the stimulation of the kiss and its consequences up to the pressure on the pubis that almost leads to orgasm, to get to the manipulation of the sexes while being embraced up to the oral relationships, both alternating and simultaneously, in 69; Osvaldo possesses me in the vagina in all ways and from all possible positions forcing me also to acrobat movements to penetrate me from above; then it is the turn of the back that undergoes treatments, mistreatment and devoted caresses, licking
and and various tongues which naturally open the anus and sphincter until sex naturally flows into the rectum without problems; at the end of the treatment, I am able to be a slut on any occasion; I thank Osvaldo and Matilde and a new life begins for me.
But as Osvaldo has widely predicted, I am soon taken by the sense of boredom for the repetitiveness of the actions and I feel the need to transgress: this time, however, it is a direct attack on him, which clearly dominates me with his strong personality as an alpha individual ; the hypothesis that emerges in my mind is to betray him without his knowledge and to reveal it, only at the end, to humiliate him; I know I risk the end of the marriage; but precisely the danger gives me the greatest thrust to do it: Matilde can provide me with only one small guarantee if she is willing to testify that I take the path not to betray but to challenge; I tell him about it, he doesn't want to know about it and he tells me the papal papal that no one will accompany me on that path and, if I really want to challenge a clearly stronger individual, all the risks are mine and they are not light; I choose the companion of the adventure and begin with him a story of sex that, in my opinion, must lead me to bend Osvaldo.
Marco is a thirty year old man, much younger than me, well physically gifted and well equipped sexually that it is not difficult to get caught up in taking me to a hotel outside the city where we consume a very bold afternoon of great sex; since it amused me, I invite him two more times and everything runs smoothly; unfortunately, as always happens, the devil puts his tail in it for the fourth time: Matilde calls home while traveling with Marco; Osvaldo, to whom I counted that I was going to a conference with Matilde, understands everything; he has the car tracked by the navigator and, knowing which hotel I am in, he comes by taxi and with a few targeted questions he knows that it is the fourth time that I go to that hotel with a sexting lover; when we get out of the room, I find it next to the car.
"Oh my God, my husband!"
Marco melts it; I approach without a word and Osvaldo makes me get in the car, he drives home in a grave silence; we go up to the apartment, opens the door, lets me in, then enters him, invited me to sit at the living room table, sits on the other end and passes me some papers; I look at him questioningly; He says dry.
"It is the consensual request for separation and divorce: if you sign, in a week we are free; if you refuse, I submit the request for part due to objective fault and I reduce you badly: I am a good lawyer! "
“I don't want to destroy the marriage: I made some copula, but this does not give you the right to treat me badly. We have to talk about it and look for a solution that is not the break. "
“If I could see only one reasonable reason, we would speak; you knew the conditions of freedom compared to your partner: you trampled them all. Did you want to challenge me to see who is better? You lost! The price? Divorce: I warned you. I am not willing to yield a millimeter from this belief. You managed to transform a great love into a deaf and inflexible hatred: the only thing I want is to see you out of my life! "
His cell phone rings and he answers it.
"Yes ... exactly ... I don't care ... it's a poor thing and I'm sorry, but the pacts are pacts ... it may have been just a stupid challenge: first of all, a challenge takes place on a single meeting: four is a slut; moreover, he lost the challenge and pays the consequences ... I will take care of my wedding ... worried about finding her accommodation because tonight she must be out of my house: I, in principle, do not host sluts. "
The phone passes me.
"It's Matilde, she wants to talk to you: she understood that from her phone call I reconstructed everything. You were so childish as to say that you went out with her without warning her. Only a stupid girl could make this mistake! "
I am crying and I try not to show it, but the tears flow by themselves.
"Forgive me, Matilde, I didn't have to involve you: you already told me you didn't agree but I wanted to win a challenge; I lost it and now I have to start again, not from scratch but from below zero: from the awareness that an imbecile like me always makes the small mistake he kills at the end; that I am a poor little girl unprepared for life and that I have to lean on a strong dominant male like the one I have just lost now; that I will spend my life feeling sorry for a trivial and stupid mistake ... no, I think I will go to a hotel for a few days; then I look for a studio apartment somewhere: the one who breaks pays and the pieces are his; what do you say? … you are here? Where is it? At the door? ... "
Indeed, at the door there is Matilde who rushed as soon as she heard from the colleague of the scene of Osvaldo at the hotel.
"Then?! What are you up to? You're really pissed off, my love, aren't you? More than when I pitted you why didn't I feel like copulating that evening? More than when we avoided for hair my husband? More than when we involved that stupid girl who didn't understand a club, literally? ... Are you being offended and betrayed because this poor fool has had a couple of copulas with a sexting man? In the meantime, how many have you done with it? Only with me a dozen in a month ... Do you want to get off the pulpit and reason with civilized people? You know that Patrizia is weak and insecure: why don't you help her and don't guide her, instead of trampling on her because she did stupid things? If you chase her, you chase me and all the others you have been having sex with for years. If you forgive her, I don't say you have to go over it, but you can certainly teach her to serve us when we have sex so she also learns what it means to trust, have love, have sex with trust and love. So, are all three of us going to bed and celebrating your horns with a menage a trois or are you bringing the cards to the judges and closing with all your life so far? ”
"But tonight I play with her the erotic game of pissing, golden rain, sex with pee in short: we apply a mechanism of submission and domination that makes her understand once and for all what her role is."
“I really don't think so: at best, you will teach her another way to have sex with joy. Anyway, let's go: don't make me late because my husband then scolds me; and, above all, show her once again how well it copulates, other than inexperienced sexting! "
"And what do you know?"
I would have liked to understand it too: I would have understood soon !
“Patrizia, but you didn't tell me just a week ago that Osvaldo fully satisfied you, from the point of view of sex because he has a very remarkable member and he can use it with great wisdom and effectiveness; from the emotional point of view because it still treats you with the delicacy and attention of when you were sexting boyfriends; from a cultural point of view, why are you still able to discuss intelligently about everyday realities? "
“I have not said that this agreement has failed, from any point of view: we continue to speak with interest about many things, we have sex with passion and it is full of attentions; but everything is as muffled, moldy in some way; I would like to see if with another male I am able to revive certain emotions that in the memory are loaded with mythicity. "
Matilde looks very surprised and wonders: according to her, I put the cart in front of the oxen a bit and look for the crack in a flawless reality with the risk of breaking a beautiful toy and which, after fifteen years of marriage, still holds up very well and does his duty; I explain to her that I don't want to destroy anything but that I only feel the need to make a check, to take a break, to take a break, to check the reactions of my body and my spirit in a past weekend with a male who gives me the feeling to be able to give me more; Naturally, Matilde continues to offer me her doubts: how my husband will take it, what I can offer him in concrete terms, what consequences an experimentation of that kind can have.
I explain that Osvaldo has always told me that having sex with others may not be serious, as long as everything happens in clarity and loyalty, concord and conscience: I will explain my intentions to him, I will hear his opinion but in any case I will claim my right to have a weekend of my own free sex, if necessary; in return, he will have the power to indulge himself in the same weekend: if you had to discover a different dimension of love, then you would have to review the relationship; if I found that intellectual convergence does not affect the substance of the relationships, I would soon download the other; if I discovered that it is only a session of free sex, as Osvaldo says, it will be enough to wash the residues; I tell you that in any case I will speak with Osvaldo and that I am convinced that the idea of having both the deductible for a weekend will convince him; Matilde warns me that if Osvaldo finds himself to be a free prey, he will be the first to try to lust him with a very good chance of success, given the already very strong friendship between us.
In the evening I talk to Osvaldo about it, immediately after dinner; at the beginning he seems almost angry and offended, then he calms down and discusses it: he understands my need but asks me to reflect that respect for people is fundamental; if I take the holiday, he has the same right to take it, this time and, if it still happens, all the more reason on other occasions; I can only allow; he asks me where I intend to exercise my freedom of sex and I inform him that I will go to the cottage, a small chalet, facing the sea with a large strip of pebbles in front, inside and very fine sand, towards the shoreline, in a very position suggestive for romantic encounters.
He warns me that he will bring home the women he intends to covet during his vacation: in the face of my reservations about the desecration of the wedding thalamus, he first makes me observe that the thalamus is also the bed in the seaside chalet (which already proves, in itself , which I use different meters to measure mine and others' actions) and which, ultimately, can fall back on the guest room or, at worst, in the small garconniere that was obtained behind the office, initially for some afternoon rest, when he works too much in the hot season, and who can now take on the typical function of the garconniere; I am hesitant in any case, but points out that it would be very painful to have to take refuge in a hotel; I agree that perhaps the guest bedroom can work as needed.
In each mod
or, once again I impose my point of view, about the greater 'sacredness' of the 'thalamus' of the house over that of the chalet; nor do I realize that I am wrong and that Osvaldo, patient, glisses over the choice and adjusts himself so as not to create other reasons for friction.
The following day I talk to Carlo, my colleague who intrigues me, and we decide that the following Friday we will arrive at school with baggage ready and with only one car (I will take a taxi); immediately after the end of the lessons we will leave for our weekend of freedom of love; Matilde, who hangs out in the surroundings apparently engaged in something else, points her ear and records everything; immediately afterwards she makes a phone call but I am too excited about the idea of transgression to take care of her; from that moment I start to fibrillate like a little girl at the first summer flirt and I can't wait for Friday's finis bell to leave for 'my' holiday; in a moment of meeting in the teachers' room, Matilde recommends me to stock up on condoms if I intend to have sex for three days; I point out that I am protected because I regularly take the birth control pill.
"... which offers absolutely no guarantee against particular infections such as AIDS: considering that you intend to have wild sex with a stranger, the minimum of common sense requires you to take precautions."
I look at her pissed off, but only because it reminds me of a caution I should have been careful about: for a moment, I doubt that my choices are not careful enough, but I am too obstinate and tingy to admit it, with Matilde as with my husband.
At home, with Osvaldo, the dialogue is quite difficult and thorny, even if he tries to dilute it in irony; I warn him that I will not use our car and he thanks me ironically because at least I will leave that availability; jokes that he will finally have the opportunity to have sex in a 'human' and varied way, after the long string of 'missionary' intercourse which is the only way I do it; I send it to the devil almost annoyed, also because, underneath, I know that it is deeply true and that, between the two, the one who made the relationships monotonous is me: but I would not publicly admit it even under torture; in the end, he assures me that he is preparing three days of fire with wonderful women for him; ironically.
"But stop ... Rodolfo Valentino has arrived!"
"Patrizia, my love (in spite of everything), the only thing that really makes me suffer in this choice is the certainty that you will come back with your crest lowered and perhaps with your arms in the sack: this hurts me more than some embrace that you can achieve , because, as I always told you, the remnants of a relationship are canceled in the shower; wounds in the soul hurt for a long time. "
I prefer not to even listen to him further and I close myself in my joyful expectation of finally proposing (or, better, imposing) my point of view, my way of being; not even for a moment it occurs to me to ask him or to ask me who will take my place in those three days: he has already taken care to meet Carlo and told me that he has obtained a negative impression, that of a vain word that hides an instinctive roughness; of course, he first admitted that perhaps his judgment is distorted by jealousy and I am firmly convinced that he cannot judge because he is too biased.
On Friday, at half past one in the afternoon, the bell gives us the go-ahead for our 'freedom of sex' whose contours I really can't even see; since we must also eat, we stop along the way for a snack in a typical restaurant; the time to consume a plate of cured meats and cheeses is an opportunity to deepen a knowledge that has basically remained superficial: our speeches have always revolved around literature; we have told ourselves very little about ourselves, beyond what could belong to the didactic function; inevitably, the hands touch and the caresses begin to weigh: when I see him approach his face with his, he panics me to be in a public place and, instinctively, I withdraw; at the same time I am worried at the thought that soon a part of that body will enter mine and I cannot evaluate the reaction that I am experiencing now or, even less, those that I will experience later.
We resume the journey; Carlo is a little troubled by my unexpected refusal, but I think he has realized my hesitation and reaches out to take mine: I hold it affectionately and it strengthens the sense of friendship with which we left; arrived at the chalet, we bring the suitcases into the house and, once the door is closed, Carlo embraces me strongly and with his mouth he captures mine in a sensual and enveloping kiss, while his member presses me firmly on the pubis: I participate in his kiss and I return it with interest, but I don't feel very agitated; not even the pressure on the lower abdomen
it really moves my senses; nimbly withdrawing from his maneuvers to push me on the bed, I try to take him out of the house to let him admire the beauty of the scenery that the place offers; but I realize that he is somewhat distracted by the panorama and that he prefers to admire my flourishing breast in which he insinuates a hand, whispering me that looking at a beautiful landscape stroking a beautiful breast is much more poetic.
I do not declare my disappointment and let him do it; he brings me into the house kissing my face and I coldly give in to his sweet violence; when we are beside the bed, she begins to open my dress and slides it to the ground, leaving me half-naked; then she also takes off my bra and briefs, leaving me in suspenders and shoes; while I take off my socks and shoes, he begins to undress; when I am lying naked on the bed, she comes over me and tries to bring her member to the height of my mouth: it is not a practice that I like and I move it towards the belly, I spread my legs and invite him to nod to penetrate me; she does it quickly and in one stroke I feel the vagina full of her rod: it's not Osvaldo and I don't feel filled and almost aching, but only gently tickled and I try to get an orgasm, but it has already come before I have time to get excited ; it unloads from my body and lies down beside me; there is no chance for me to enjoy: I don't like masturbating, Osvaldo always does it at home if, due to some unfortunate coincidence, he has not managed to make me reach the right orgasm; I have the feeling that the decision to have sex with a stranger who of natural beauty speaks only to conquer a poor deluded person has not been very happy.
We sleep a few hours and, as soon as I wake up, Carlo gets on me again and this time he tries to put into practice ways of sex that I had also discussed with Osvaldo but that I had never wanted to practice: I masturbate him a little but I am forced to tell him, with his grave disappointment, that I don't feel like practicing fellatio and that the cunnilingual turns out to be unsanitary; in conclusion, I let him understand that I only have 'missionary' sex and, when he tries to rest it on my anus, I strongly reject it.
We go out to go to dinner in a restaurant by the sea in the nearby town and, during dinner, I make it clear that sex is not the first of my interests and that I practice it not by choice but only as a physiological need; of course, he is very upset and finds that three days of not understanding each other and giving up are unbearable; we decide to return the next morning; in bed, he still tries various approaches for different ways of having sex and I still tell him clearly that to my partner, whoever he is, I only allow a normal 'missionary': he asks me at least to prepare him with a masturbation, which I practice unwillingly; then it penetrates me and, after a few strokes that do not excite me, it explodes into a new orgasm.
I wake up almost at dawn and I am tempted to wake Osvaldo too; then I reflect that it is not appropriate to show up so early; I wait for Carlo to wake up and in the meantime I prepare my suitcase; ultimately, at about nine o'clock we leave for the city and shortly after eleven o'clock a taxi drops me at my house: the car is in the garage, a sign that my husband is at home, perhaps in the guest room with his friend: a tip of jealousy, absurd !, pinches me inside, as I approach the door and open with my keys.
"Patrizia are you?"
The voice comes from the guest room.
"Yes. Can I come in?"
“It would be better not, actually. I wasn't expecting you until tomorrow evening. How come so early? "
"I got it all wrong; it was a real failure. I'm sorry … "
Osvaldo leaves the room covered only by a bathrobe; I ask him if he is in company, if he was having sex and if I disturbed him; he tells me that yes, he is in the company of a woman he had invited for the weekend, that they were making love when I came in and that now the situation is particularly delicate due to the need to reconcile different and conflicting needs; I recognize that, perhaps, at least one phone call had to be made to him to warn him before he fell on him so unexpectedly; I ask him if I can meet the woman who occupied my seat for that night.
“What if it's a boy? Didn't you yourself reproach me that I was presumptuous to believe myself Rudolph Valentino? "
“Even if it were, at this moment I don't feel like judging anything: an idiot like me, in fact not in words, is unable to judge anything; so I assure you that I am ready to accept any reality and to review with you, if you are still available with me as you were until the day before yesterday, all my beliefs, to do everything that is right to adapt my presumption to reality. "
"Hell, you must have gone through really bad, to be at this point!"
It was not Osvaldo who spoke, but I immediately recognized Matilde's voice emerging from the door wrapped in a sheet almost like a ghost
"Matilde! You?!?!?!"
"Already!!!! I told you I would be the first to covet Osvaldo if you left your prey free. Now, however, the fact is that my husband believes me out of town, even with you, in a place where there is no field for the telephone. What are we doing? Are you going back to my house and explaining to my husband that you were disappointed and went back? "
"Let me pick up a little, please ... too many things all together ..."
Osvaldo takes up the thread of the conversation a little.
"What happened?"
“It happened that you were right: a crude mystifier who uses a culture of impact to impress: I fell hands and feet, I was ashamed of myself and I immediately interrupted an experience that only an idiot could consider useful. "
"But, concretely, what happened?"
"It happened that in less than twenty-four hours he owned me three times; I imposed my way of having sex on the missionary, and it seemed very annoyed to me, she would have demanded practices that I do not consider or reject; so it's over before we start. "
“Well, three intercourse in less than a day, it's not a thing to despise; how is the equipment? "
Matilde spoke, but it makes me smile.
“I don't know how many times Osvaldo has owned you; if I know him, it was no different, also because I imposed limits on him which, as he had announced, he finally broke up with you. For the rest, it went far better than me; I wouldn't exchange Osvaldo with anyone from that point of view. "
"Excuse me, but to be elegant I just have to remind you of a Masini title, 'beautiful st ....' You had to get banged by an imbecile to find out that the best you had at home? At least, have you enjoyed? Three times …?"
“No, not even a little bit. I assure you that I am more excited to see you half naked that you have just finished having sex with Osvaldo, than to be penetrated by the unknown one. Speaking of which, would you lend me my husband for a few minutes? I need to enjoy it at least once! "
“I think things take a very strange turn. In short, did you come back to be owned by your husband, after discovering that it is the best on the square even with the wedding tare? "
“More: I am happy that you are there too, because in reality I came back here to learn something about sex which, as far as I understand, is not unknown to you; and maybe having a teacher like you at your side will help me understand myself better. "
"Are you even proposing a mènage à trois, you and Osvaldo, to direct yourself on the practices of sex and learn to exploit them to feed a love that you considered dead and didn't you realize that it was you who was killing him?"
“You have an ability to be brutal with love and friendship to the point that you can only appreciate yourself. Exactly; the only thing I managed to learn from this busted affair is that having sex has implications that I had never even thought of. Does it bother you if I ask you to make me understand them? "
"No; but first of all you must also ask Osvaldo who must put all the ingredients, sex, heart and brain; moreover you must be ready to clean up many preventions that make you obtuse; finally, you have to endure even a little pain because certain practices are not painless but give so much, so much, so much pleasure. "
"Osvaldo, do you feel like taking this path with me to get to be more and better in love with each other?"
“I have always been available with you, even when I knew you were wrong; this time I know it's not a mistake, but it can potentially become one, if you get carried away by excessive desires, excesses, challenges and experiments. I teach you everything I know and that it is right for you to know. But correct use can only be suggested by your intelligence and common sense. Do you remember how you defined the preliminary characters to be free to act with respect to your partner? You said, as Matilde attests, that they need clarity and loyalty, concord and conscience. If you have this strength, everything can be worth. If, on the other hand, you get carried away, you enter a dangerous spiral: as Leopardi suggests, the more you know, the more you discover you don't know and you want to know. If you go beyond the lawful, our relationship will await you. "
"One mistake was enough!"
The following hours, until Sunday afternoon, are used to review all the possible ways of having sex, almost going through an ideal illustrated catalog like the tiles painted in the lupanar of Pompeii: thus I discover the stimulation of the kiss and its consequences up to the pressure on the pubis that almost leads to orgasm, to get to the manipulation of the sexes while being embraced up to the oral relationships, both alternating and simultaneously, in 69; Osvaldo possesses me in the vagina in all ways and from all possible positions forcing me also to acrobat movements to penetrate me from above; then it is the turn of the back that undergoes treatments, mistreatment and devoted caresses, licking
and and various tongues which naturally open the anus and sphincter until sex naturally flows into the rectum without problems; at the end of the treatment, I am able to be a slut on any occasion; I thank Osvaldo and Matilde and a new life begins for me.
But as Osvaldo has widely predicted, I am soon taken by the sense of boredom for the repetitiveness of the actions and I feel the need to transgress: this time, however, it is a direct attack on him, which clearly dominates me with his strong personality as an alpha individual ; the hypothesis that emerges in my mind is to betray him without his knowledge and to reveal it, only at the end, to humiliate him; I know I risk the end of the marriage; but precisely the danger gives me the greatest thrust to do it: Matilde can provide me with only one small guarantee if she is willing to testify that I take the path not to betray but to challenge; I tell him about it, he doesn't want to know about it and he tells me the papal papal that no one will accompany me on that path and, if I really want to challenge a clearly stronger individual, all the risks are mine and they are not light; I choose the companion of the adventure and begin with him a story of sex that, in my opinion, must lead me to bend Osvaldo.
Marco is a thirty year old man, much younger than me, well physically gifted and well equipped sexually that it is not difficult to get caught up in taking me to a hotel outside the city where we consume a very bold afternoon of great sex; since it amused me, I invite him two more times and everything runs smoothly; unfortunately, as always happens, the devil puts his tail in it for the fourth time: Matilde calls home while traveling with Marco; Osvaldo, to whom I counted that I was going to a conference with Matilde, understands everything; he has the car tracked by the navigator and, knowing which hotel I am in, he comes by taxi and with a few targeted questions he knows that it is the fourth time that I go to that hotel with a sexting lover; when we get out of the room, I find it next to the car.
"Oh my God, my husband!"
Marco melts it; I approach without a word and Osvaldo makes me get in the car, he drives home in a grave silence; we go up to the apartment, opens the door, lets me in, then enters him, invited me to sit at the living room table, sits on the other end and passes me some papers; I look at him questioningly; He says dry.
"It is the consensual request for separation and divorce: if you sign, in a week we are free; if you refuse, I submit the request for part due to objective fault and I reduce you badly: I am a good lawyer! "
“I don't want to destroy the marriage: I made some copula, but this does not give you the right to treat me badly. We have to talk about it and look for a solution that is not the break. "
“If I could see only one reasonable reason, we would speak; you knew the conditions of freedom compared to your partner: you trampled them all. Did you want to challenge me to see who is better? You lost! The price? Divorce: I warned you. I am not willing to yield a millimeter from this belief. You managed to transform a great love into a deaf and inflexible hatred: the only thing I want is to see you out of my life! "
His cell phone rings and he answers it.
"Yes ... exactly ... I don't care ... it's a poor thing and I'm sorry, but the pacts are pacts ... it may have been just a stupid challenge: first of all, a challenge takes place on a single meeting: four is a slut; moreover, he lost the challenge and pays the consequences ... I will take care of my wedding ... worried about finding her accommodation because tonight she must be out of my house: I, in principle, do not host sluts. "
The phone passes me.
"It's Matilde, she wants to talk to you: she understood that from her phone call I reconstructed everything. You were so childish as to say that you went out with her without warning her. Only a stupid girl could make this mistake! "
I am crying and I try not to show it, but the tears flow by themselves.
"Forgive me, Matilde, I didn't have to involve you: you already told me you didn't agree but I wanted to win a challenge; I lost it and now I have to start again, not from scratch but from below zero: from the awareness that an imbecile like me always makes the small mistake he kills at the end; that I am a poor little girl unprepared for life and that I have to lean on a strong dominant male like the one I have just lost now; that I will spend my life feeling sorry for a trivial and stupid mistake ... no, I think I will go to a hotel for a few days; then I look for a studio apartment somewhere: the one who breaks pays and the pieces are his; what do you say? … you are here? Where is it? At the door? ... "
Indeed, at the door there is Matilde who rushed as soon as she heard from the colleague of the scene of Osvaldo at the hotel.
"Then?! What are you up to? You're really pissed off, my love, aren't you? More than when I pitted you why didn't I feel like copulating that evening? More than when we avoided for hair my husband? More than when we involved that stupid girl who didn't understand a club, literally? ... Are you being offended and betrayed because this poor fool has had a couple of copulas with a sexting man? In the meantime, how many have you done with it? Only with me a dozen in a month ... Do you want to get off the pulpit and reason with civilized people? You know that Patrizia is weak and insecure: why don't you help her and don't guide her, instead of trampling on her because she did stupid things? If you chase her, you chase me and all the others you have been having sex with for years. If you forgive her, I don't say you have to go over it, but you can certainly teach her to serve us when we have sex so she also learns what it means to trust, have love, have sex with trust and love. So, are all three of us going to bed and celebrating your horns with a menage a trois or are you bringing the cards to the judges and closing with all your life so far? ”
"But tonight I play with her the erotic game of pissing, golden rain, sex with pee in short: we apply a mechanism of submission and domination that makes her understand once and for all what her role is."
“I really don't think so: at best, you will teach her another way to have sex with joy. Anyway, let's go: don't make me late because my husband then scolds me; and, above all, show her once again how well it copulates, other than inexperienced sexting! "
"And what do you know?"
I would have liked to understand it too: I would have understood soon !