“The Astonishing Fiddlesticks”

 Is this acceptable for Halloween?  Wisely…Venice is continuously linked to Carnival, and with hide extra in most cases.  There are many operas in Venice that rob that as a theme: Ponchielli’s La Gioconda, Korngold’s Violanta, J. Strauss’s Eine Nacht in Venedig, after all Britten’s Demise in Venice.  What point am I making?  That I adore opera, and, no longer to brag, but I do know the names of rather a lot of operatic works.  I mediate that is public recordsdata.  But anyway!  Definite, let’s stagger with it.  Why no longer?

Man, I became hoping that that “Christmas in July” factor would possibly maybe perchance be the originate of me blogging here extra continuously, but then I virtually straight needed to transfer and derive a job that alive to relocating and, you understand, doing rather a lot to derive located; or no longer it’s no longer adore I develop no longer derive free time, but you know the manner it goes.  Wisely, here we are.  Let’s write about every other prone Western story.  I became pondering a small bit about Bob Gregory, and pondering, man, I do know I retain asserting that he became in most cases the ultimate of the non-Barks Western crew, but is that factual?  What else will we take into yarn at?  And I after all derive the influence that here’s one in every of his extra notorious reviews, primarily based fully mostly on the actual fact that I mediate that I’ve heard upwards of two folks expose it, and in a semi-sure sense at that.  That’s about as noteworthy sure press as you would perchance perchance maybe demand this roughly story to derive.  I did be taught this when I became shrimp, though it for sure no longer stood out in my mind as being that colossal.  Soundless, let’s test it out.

And enable us to originate with that title.  “The Astonishing Fiddlesticks.”  Now, you can name a violin bow a “fiddlestick,” despite the actual fact that that would possibly maybe perchance appear roughly ragged and additionally you are going to be unlikely to develop it in a classical-tune context, which this story is in, and additionally it for sure no longer refers to violins as “fiddles” and additionally it has nothing to develop with bows particularly, but…what point became I making?  Apt, that title appears beside the purpose.  Is it regarding one thing explicit?  It sounds vaudevillian, but I will no longer be extra explicit than that.  Soundless, or no longer it’s k; at least or no longer it’s one thing.  If Gregory became purely taking pleasure in messing around with phrases, that is most likely to be a noble pursuit.

Ah sure, after all.  Right here’s why or no longer it is so noticeable and refreshing on those events when Scrooge is confirmed to derive interests that develop no longer believe money: they’re so dang rare.  Despite the actual fact that, in equity, as noteworthy sheer nonsense because it’s, Scrooge’s ultimate line there is fun.  “Fats Percussion and the Bouillabaisse Five” certainly.  Too injurious Rosa couldn’t work that into the “Lifestyles and Times.”

Man, that is some intense gatekeeping from Donald about “proper classical tune.”  What are you taking part in at, Donald?  I assume there became that one Barks one-pager where he and Scrooge snuck into a live performance.  Anyway, after all, “injurious violin taking part in” is a comics staple.  Plump’s musical efforts are familiar to all.  Has anybody in a droll e book ever performed a violin correctly?  Presumably correct for distinction.

I mediate the motive folks adore this story is that it does derive a half-first price effort at having a historical foundation that you just would perchance perchance maybe rob at least semi-seriously, after the manner of Barks.  Though no longer AS correct, clearly.  Is he concerned with opium smuggling (I indicate, “spice,” but you understand)?  Seriously, how fucking wild is it that Britain became adore “fuck you, we’ll promote laborious medicine to your country and we are in a position to FUCK YOUR SHIT UP whenever you strive to quit us?”  That’s some injurious shit.

Anyway, the story riffs on things that would or would possibly maybe perchance well no longer be factual about Stradivarius violins, which, honest play, is a groovy, ordinary self-discipline for a Disney droll, however you is most likely to be feeling in regards to the carried out product.

Despite the actual fact that to be right, this characterization of Donald is no longer doing it for me, with this “or no longer it’s crucial to develop what I relate” stuff.  The set does it attain from?  It a small bit resembles that Barks story where Scrooge enlists his services and products to cast off excess money, but…eh.

And, I indicate, seriously, or no longer it’s mainly correct conventional for this clunky-ass little bit of plotting?  Why, pray expose, is Donald going to be fully bored with this plot?  Would no longer the very glaring conclusion be that it can perchance well derive SOMETHING to develop with the mystery at hand?  Or no longer it’s a small bit adore the factor Barks did as soon as in a while where he would toddle a reputedly beside the purpose facet into a story early on to derive it pay off later (most significantly the box of dirt in “The Twenty-Four Karat Moon”), but here or no longer it’s correct nonsensical and dreary.  Bah!  BAH, I relate!

Man, Donald looks PISSED OFF there.  Right here’s extra than a lighthearted prank.  Dude, or no longer it’s no longer “free labor;” he paid you ten or twenty-five cents an hour.  Wisely…moreover in “The Menehune Mystery,” so I relate honest play in attempting to derive him reduction for that.  Soundless.  I dunno.

…if here’s supposed to be a legally-binding contract, I develop no longer mediate you would perchance perchance maybe correct insert extra provisions into it after or no longer it’s been signed.  Soundless, I’m no longer a lawyer.  Any individual quiz Devin Stone; maybe he’ll derive a video.

Did you retain in mind that Venice has been progressively dropping its inhabitants over the past century because absurd quantity of traffic is rendering it unlivable?  I learned that at the Seaplane Harbour museum in Tallinn, where they derive been–maybe restful are–having a Venice exhibition.  Bah to that, though I will no longer insist the romance of the premise of Venice, anyway.  And I dunno, honest’s honest, I adore how the conventional ambiance here, to the extent that there is one.  Wisely, extra or much less.  What’s the address those…rodents overlooking the canal?  They take into yarn adore chipmunks, but those are New World animals, will no longer be they?  Squirrels?  Stoats?  What are these enigmatic beasts, and why?  Enact these exude attribute Venetian ambiance to you guys?  Or became Strobl correct roughly doodling whatever so that you just would possibly maybe maybe add visual ardour?  In equity, that is extra than masses of those artists would’ve performed.

Yes, I mediate that we are in a position to comparatively relate that the ducks wandering around and speaking to locals to derive clues is a small bit Barksian. OF COURSE he’s eating spaghetti!  He’s Italian!  What ELSE would possibly maybe perchance be be doing!  Or no longer it’s vogue of amusing how artless this story is in its efforts so that you just would possibly maybe maybe add native shade.

Okay, here’s dickish and a small bit questionable from a character standpoint, or maybe any standpoint, but Scrooge’s reaction to Dewey’s debridgication (depontication?) for sure factually makes me el oh el.

All these items about European bridges being transported to The us and American bridges being recreated in Venice…I after all feel adore I would possibly maybe perchance restful gesture vaguely within the direction of postmodernism here, but I will stagger away it at that.  I additionally after all feel adore I must bring up that factor with London Bridge being relocated to Arizona, but that postdates this story, alas.

First predict: why are gondoliers accountable of dismantling the bridge?  That appears outside their wheelhouse.  Yes, because or no longer it is the single job that particularly makes you think “Venice.”  Got it.  2nd: if I do know my stereotypes about gondoliers, I do know they’re purported to remark “La donna è cell” or one thing along those lines.  I indicate, I derive that or no longer it’s crucial for us to seize that they’re in fact the gondoliers, but it appears adore there would possibly maybe perchance be a extra artful manner to position that belief during.  Possibly.

Furthermore, this low tide factor.  Definite, all americans as soon as in a while writes stuff with out a reason assorted than to tread water and meet the desired web declare depend, but no longer continuously so egregiously as here.  Wisely, revel in it.  It is artwork for artwork’s sake.  Allegedly.

And now, we derive to the section where all americans ostentatiously goes on about how horrifically nugatory the wood for sure is.  It IS a racy small mystery in belief, but vogue of goofy in deliver.  How many substances develop YOU know where folks constantly shaggy dog story about how nugatory they’re?  Or no longer it’s irregular, is all.

…the story keeps performing as though hand-crafting a violin, “Pastradi” or no longer, is a trivially easy factor to develop.  I do know the premise is to make a distinction between “Pastradis are colossal rare and precious” and “non-Pastradi’s are comically nugatory,” but I mediate that that is most likely to be a dreary distinction.  Are we purported to mediate that with the varnish, that you just can derive colossal violins, but with out it, they’re noteworthy worse than those made with assorted forms of wood?  That can perchance well be comparatively dang extraordinary!  You COULD relate it, though!  But the story for sure no longer does.  So…bleh.

GOSH, maybe that you just can’ve saved yourself a HUGE amount of effort by no longer correct refusing to pay any ticket to that train reduction whenever you with out plight would possibly maybe perchance’ve!  I develop no longer know!  I am correct some guy!

…mmm.  I opinion that that “water snowboarding concession” factor became correct a ragged throw-away shaggy dog story, but it appears it became a ragged throw-away shaggy dog story with an equally ragged payoff.  Hurray!  I develop adore how the Italian stereotypes are…tense? puzzled? by the inclusion of some vogue of avant-garde sculpture, when it can perchance’ve been a extra normal Renaissance-model factor.

Anyway, reduction to the States.  Fun, fun.  Okay, k.  Let’s develop this…

…I indicate, granted, the image would derive extra punch if rendered by anyone with extra Barksian inventive expertise, but or no longer it’s restful comparatively correct, under the conditions.  Clearly, an effort became being made.  It would possibly maybe most likely perchance be perfectly practical to name it the highlight of the story.

On the opposite hand, it can perchance be this.  The specifics here after all derive it: “Lin Chin Salt Water Crayfish,” “Marco Polo,” “Royal Italian Marine Society.”  It is likely you’ll perchance surprise, correctly…develop the crayfish restful exist in China, maybe?  But the story is shut ample to the conclude that we’re no longer gonna fear about such things.

So my first intuition is to quiz “how is it price a thousand greenbacks if we now derive established that the wood is nugatory?”  But then, in equity, we develop derive to concede that Scrooge appears to be to be along side the price of the outing within the thousand greenbacks he owes.  But can he develop that?  Ought to not this derive been established within the contract?  This, I wretchedness, is what comes of writing and signing a contract with out a right illustration modern.  No one is aware of what they’re doing so that they’re correct taking part in by their derive guidelines.  Enact any of them “derive” to be doing any of what they’re doing?  Who is aware of!  The accurate right machine is beside the purpose! They’re correct doing extraordinary play-performing in their derive puzzled small world!  Hooray!

I develop no longer know.  I adore him insisting on being bashed with a board and then objecting to it.  Appropriate constructing your derive extraordinary machine of punishment and then complaining about it.

Yes, k.  Sing on the relative convenience of this appears superfluous.  But I correct derive to surprise what the dang address the wood is.  The total Venetians derive been constantly going into convulsions of laughter over how traditional it’s, and yet Scrooge became unable to to find any earlier than Donald did accidentally, and these guys weren’t both?  It will no longer JUST be in Venice; otherwise these guys would derive to derive been in a situation to.  SO…apparently or no longer it’s in rather a lot of locations straight away that are fully blind to 1 every other?  Argh; here’s the form of factor that occurs with reviews adore this.  The vagueness and requirement to derive wild inferences that then contradict every assorted is extremely akin to Scarpa, and no longer in a colossal-colossal manner.  But it for sure’s what occurs, I relate, whenever you for sure develop no longer derive a firm grip to your story.

Wisely, at least I adore Diagonal Donald and Nephews.  This appears to vogue of name reduction to the texture of the title.

So what derive we learned here?

[resounding silence]

Apt, k, that is what I opinion.  Wisely, contrary to, maybe, about a folks, I’d no longer precisely name this one in every of Gregory’s greater efforts, for whatever that is price.  Clearly or no longer it’s greater than reviews that he wrote after struggling some vogue of severe head trauma or perchance correct seeing a Colossal Prone One and dropping his mind, but it roughly aspects in that direction extra than you are going to adore.  Soundless!  Now, improbably, I’ve written two thousand phrases about it.  It is likely you’ll perchance imagine that is injurious, but hey, YOU READ THEM!  Let’s face it: no one comes out of this wanting correct.

Soundless, on that train, Chuffed Halloween!