Hello blogosphere, and Gratified Valentine’s Day to all! I’m no longer gonna lie, I develop no longer mediate worthy of this holiday at all, but that does no longer mean I’m going to refuse the replacement to grace you all with a brand new blog put up. So right this moment, in a a cramped cynical vogue, to possess a excellent time for the time being of romance, I’ve decided to list some of the worst and most embarrassing Valentine’s Day tales known to man. Sound dazzling? I mediate sure. So without further ado, would possibly well I introduce to you these tales from hell . . .
1. Cheesecake Pickle
The first yarn is from any person called Teresa Tree, and she or he says that on Valentine’s Day, rather then getting the same outdated issues admire plant life or wine, her husband of three years bought her cheesecake. Particular, that does no longer sound too infamous, in truth, it in truth sounds elegant monumental, except for for the incontrovertible truth that she’s lactose intolerant and extremely allergic to eggs, soy and milk. They divorced later that year. Accident? I mediate no longer.
2. Aged Ankle Boots
Nothing says romance admire 2nd hand sneakers. In step with Michelle Carillo, her excessive college boyfriend realizing that purchasing some weak ankle boots was the correct manner to scoot about guaranteeing that admire is in the air. I mean, he even went to the trouble of coating them in shoe polish, how admire is that? Let’s face it, nothing says admire admire presents from a yard sale.
3. Unsuitable Chicken
Finest a heads up, this yarn gets gross very mercurial. This lady’s yarn starts off successfully when her boyfriend affords to develop her a house cooked meal consisting of chicken filled with cheese and vegetables. Sounds elegant nice right? Noxious. After they’ve accomplished drinking, he begins to feel ill, and spends the the rest of their Valentine’s evening in the toilet vomiting unless about 4am. Wow, there’s nothing admire Salmonella to extinguish the temper. So keep in mind girls and boys, the right of the yarn is to constantly wash your fingers whilst you happen to cook dinner chicken (and that’s the explanation coming from a vegetarian).
4. Slimming Membership Membership
I mediate we can all feel what’s coming with this one. On Valentine’s Day, Naomi Brash’s date confirmed up at her door, no, no longer with plant life or chocolate, but with a slimming club membership card. Well this one elegant worthy takes the cake. I mean, offensive worthy? If truth be told, word to the wise people, right here is rarely any longer a excellent cross. Any bets on how lengthy that relationship lasted?
5. Ironing Woes
Before we starting up up, prepare to lose all of your faith in humanity. In Melinda Cooksey’s unhappy story, she says that once she confirmed as much as her boyfriend’s house with a nice new shirt, he gave her an ironing equipment as a present, and promptly requested that she iron it for him. I mean, newsflash, this is rarely the 50’s, sexism is rarely frigid anymore. This in actuality is rarely a monumental manner to accumulate in the romantic temper. Understandably, they broke up the next day.
6. Like a flash Meals
There is nothing admire the scent of a snappy meals institution to accumulate you in the temper, right? In step with Denise, her boyfriend’s monumental present to her was dinner at a snappy meals joint of her replacement. If I’m being totally moral, that would no longer precisely be the worst factor on this planet. But wait, there’s more. Turns out, he comfortably forgot his pockets at house, and therefore she ended up paying for it all.
Congratulations, we’ve reached the cease of my relatively anti-Valentine’s Day put up! That you just would possibly well now all be comforted by the incontrovertible truth that it is no longer crucial what occurs right this moment, it would possibly well presumably’t accumulate any worse than this. Til’ subsequent time . . .
Annabel xx