A.A.B. – IN MEMORIAM – TEN YEARS LATER… (Updated But Over again – Perceive Bottom Of Post)
Me, as Most productive Man, 15th December 1978.  The marriage changed into once quick-lived

On Monday 14th January 2013, I printed a submit about any individual I once knew.  (Click right here for particulars whereas you’re .)  Itsy-bitsy did I do know at the time (totally having realized out on Sunday staunch gone) that a Fb touch upon Sunday thirteenth January 2013 – the day before the submit – had expressed disappointment at news of his demise sometime the old week.  Successfully, what a shocker!  (Thing is, if he is now not sensible, who therefore amended about a of the issues on his Fb online page that I alluded to in my ‘piece’?  Nonetheless that’s for pondering on one other day, per chance.)

When I honest no longer too long ago did a ‘Google Search’ to all once more score his FB online page, amongst the alternatives supplied (even supposing totally when I venerable one utter browser out of loads of available to me) there were some photos and feedback that are no longer on his web sing online, but it appears within the feedback allotment on any individual else’s FB online page.  (That is how I realized the comment about his passing, even supposing I changed into once totally ready to receive entry to that hyperlink twice – it appears to contain now disappeared.)  The photos indicate a ravaged man who appears to be like some distance older than the 52 or fifty three years he changed into once at the time, seemingly as a outcomes of him being an alcoholic, one thing he admitted when he visited our dwelling town sometime within the gradual ’90s or thereabouts (he’d lived ‘down south’ since gradual 1977) to a lady he called ‘Auntie Margaret’.  

In case you are wondering how I do know this, the girl herself told me when I bumped into her around 1999 or 2000 and she or he talked about that he’d been up for a talk over with a 365 days or two before.  She’d attended the identical church as him, his sister and other folks (as within the identical denomination, even supposing per chance a definite congregation) and changed into once as a result of this fact an very perfect friend of the household, but he regarded her as an ‘aunt-kind’ figure so that’s how he referred to her.  Whether she minded or no longer (or changed into once if truth be told flattered) is one thing I am no longer conscious of, no longer that it’s well-known.

To be apt, I if truth be told contain mixed emotions concerning the news of his passing (if data that’s ten years inclined can precisely be described as ‘news’ – even supposing it changed into once surely news to me) as I now need to now not contain crossed the side road to pee on him if he had been on fire (as I stated somewhere before).  Nonetheless, this man changed into once once one in every of my totally buddies (if no longer my very totally friend – when I changed into once young satisfactory to subscribe to this form of thought), so for the sake of our childhood friendship I felt a shrimp of unhappy on discovering out he’d passed away.  (I’d met him on my first day at my second predominant college, on Wednesday 10th November 1965.)  Weird, now, to judge that whereas I’d subconsciously assumed he changed into once yet gadding about somewhere, he’d embarked on the ‘long sleep’ more than ten years ago.

Sadly, he changed into once a compulsive liar and inveterate fantasist who never looked to comprehend that the ‘colossal tales’ he told had been so entirely no longer seemingly that many these that knew him as an grownup regarded and brushed off him as a pathetic object of still ridicule.  Who’s conscious of what made him esteem that – a need for consideration, per chance?  So the particular person whose loss of life I am unhappy about is the 6 (occurring 7) to 21/22 365 days-inclined I once knew and beloved, no longer the particular person he later grew to alter into (or even continuously changed into once, but I staunch never noticed at the time).  For certain, a blinding section of my diminutive disappointment is linked to the reminder of my receive mortality that his passing begets, but it’s miles most steadily to fabricate with a life he wasted and a probably he never fulfilled.

In old posts I’ve referred to him as Billy Liar, which is potentially more lawful than Walter Mitty as there changed into once a little bit of pathos to Billy Liar’s predicament, whereas Walter Mitty’s changed into all once more humorous, being performed for laughs more than anything else.  I steadily identified as him ‘Adam Cowie’ on my weblog, but his staunch title changed into once Alan Bowie, which, long after I jettisoned him he amended to Alan Bowie-McDonald – even supposing fabricate no longer attach apart a inquire to me why.  As soon as we had been children he lamented the actual fact that he didn’t contain a ‘middle’ title, so I suggested Adam and he grew to alter into for a genuine long whereas Alan Adam Bowie.  (Or A.A.B. when he changed into once writing it on lampposts and walls with a large-tipped ink marker pen.)

Anyway, unless experiences of his loss of life are ‘vastly exaggerated’ (and within the event that they’re, he’ll potentially be within the wait on of it) that’s him gone from this softly-spinning inexperienced and blue globe which hangs upon nothing, and I’ll never survey him all once more this side of doomsday.  Along with in recollections and inclined photos no doubt, when I still held his friendship in some regard before his leisurely-but-apparently-obvious budge into decadency and despair.

So right here’s to the memory of Alan Bowie – even supposing no longer the Alan he grew to alter into, but quite the Alan I believed him to be before the scales one way or the other fell from my eyes and I noticed him for what he changed into once.  Nonetheless, the end of our friendship changed into once as a outcomes of his unacceptable perspective and bewildering behaviour, no longer that of mine.  

Ah, all is conceitedness and vexation of spirit.

The 10 365 days-inclined Fb comment about his loss of life, which I totally noticed this Sunday (17th)

(Update:) On his Fb profile are a wise need of lies that contain shrimp or no resemblance to truth, but one is so with out agonize checkable that I am surprisingly surprised (after all, none of his lies can contain to ever contain surprised me) at the audacity of it.  He claimed to contain a uncommon make of Motor Neurone Disease called ATOL, but it’s miles so ‘uncommon’ that it would now not exist.  I checked with the Motor Neurone Disease Affiliation (MNDA) and so that they’ve never heard of it, even asking me what the initials stood for.
Now, I very much doubt that he if truth be told had MND, but if he did, you’d contain thought that changed into once nasty satisfactory with out having to invent a ‘uncommon make’ of it, wouldn’t you?  Or per chance he staunch needed to be totally different from your ‘average’ MND sufferer.  All I can say is that I am extraordinarily cheerful I fabricate no longer suffer from his overwhelming compulsion to snarl vast expansive glaring stonking whoppers.  Now, you are going to wish to excuse me – I’ve got to rob my novel spaceship out on a trial time out to Alpha Centauri, but fabricate no longer bother; as a result of its nuclear-powered warp-drive I can contain to be wait on before teatime.
What fabricate you mean you fabricate no longer imagine me?  Cheek!
A.A.B. within the wait on backyard of his bedsit in St. Andrews Road, Southsea, December 1978 

Live The Bus Dept: I’ve staunch realized a contemporary e mail from the MNDA in my Junk file, which made me surprise for a moment whether or no longer I’d’ve been doing my feeble friend an injustice in regard to his ‘ATOL’.  Right here’s a ‘carve and paste’ of section of its contents…
There is a make of MND called Amyotrophic lateral sclerosis
(ALS):  
Right here is the commonest make of MND, with weak point and
wasting within the limbs, muscle stiffness and cramps.  Any individual also can honest be conscious they’re
tripping when strolling or shedding issues.  Lifestyles expectancy is on the total two to
five years from the onset of indicators.

I don’t know if right here’s per chance what your friend had,
but it will also very smartly be that he changed into once the usage of an unsuitable acronym.  There are numerous diversifications
of MND but I am no longer conscious of ATOL.


Nonetheless, based on my ex-perfect friend ATOL is a uncommon make of MND, whereas ALS is the most total so simply getting the acronym substandard wouldn’t in actuality account for the discrepancy.  I am as a result of this fact disinclined to be charitable and give him the earnings of any doubt – particularly as there may well be no doubt all his other lies had been certainly staunch that.
(But one other update:) I ‘phoned a pair of funeral administrators shut to to the establish he’d lived and one changed into once ready to verify his loss of life as they’d organized lawsuits.  He died on January 10th 2013 and changed into once cremated on February 1st (16 days trying what would’ve been his 54th birthday).  Weird to judge that he left our dwelling town in 1977 and that for most of his life he’d lived someplace else.  I ponder if he ever overlooked the web sing online the establish his other folks had brought him up?  Also, he left this world under one other title, no longer his beginning title, which, to me, appears extremely unhappy.  Became once that his wish or changed into once it one thing he hadn’t even thought to be?  I’ll never know, but he’ll continuously be Alan Bowie to me, no longer Bowie-McDonald.  I never knew that man.
P.S. I’ve staunch been messaged by one in every of his FB buddies who suggested me that he died of cancer.  Surprisingly, he made no point out of that particular person illness on his FB online page.  I hope his demise wasn’t too painful and that he met it peacefully.  Marge, the girl with whom he lived (no longer his wife), predeceased him, but I fabricate no longer judge it changed into once by long.  In all likelihood, together along with his illness, he staunch lost the contain to reside after she died?  A tragic end indeed.
Over again, outside Portsmouth Register Role of job, 15th December 1978.  In case
you are wondering why I am the certainly one taking a survey at the digicam, there were
two (one in front, one on the left), each taking photos at the identical time
(And one other one:) The Cornish Gazette kindly supplied me with a copy of his funeral carrier be conscious and I changed into once surprised to perceive totally the title of McDonald venerable, no longer Bowie-McDonald.  The latter double-barrelled title changed into once the one I supplied to the funeral administrators when making enquiries, and the dates of his loss of life and cremation – as well to his age and the establish he’d lived – are a match, so there appears no reason to doubt it’s the identical particular person.  His second wife left him (staunch esteem his first) and he and his daughter had been estranged (her resolution) so the ‘much beloved husband and father’ is seemingly totally following the identical old ‘etiquette’ employed in such scenarios.  Finally, no-one who dies is ever a “substandard ‘un”, are they?  Easy, it’s a tragic notify, all issues thought to be.  (Although I order it’s continuously probably there changed into once a reconciliation of kinds within the event that they realized he changed into once dying.)
I’ve printed out his loss of life be conscious and affixed it interior a notebook he proficient me wait on in December of 1980, which is extremely acceptable and likewise seriously ironic I order, in that the particulars of his funeral carrier are truly recorded within the pages of the book he gave me over 40 years earlier when he changed into once very much alive.  And right here endeth his tale – a entire 10 years and eight months after he died.
Update, 10-1-’24: I’ve now also added an ‘In Memoriam’ be conscious which looked in my native weekly newspaper this day.  For the story of that, survey right here.
Alan around the age of 7 or 8, I’d wager.  He gave me this
represent when I changed into once down in Southsea/Portsmouth in 1978