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Excuse Us, Agent Cooper: Would You Admire A Sever Of Pie?

Excuse Us, Agent Cooper: Would You Admire A Sever Of Pie?
SOMETHING IS HAPPENING THAT YOU GUYS NEED TO KNOW ABOUT. He’s correct right here within the bathtub and his title is Dale Cooper.
In case you aren’t conversant in this man, accumulate a deep breath in on yarn of you’re about to receive true acquainted alongside with his forearms, thighs, cheeky smile, adore for Radiohead and expert skill to fill us giggle and then need to fuck straight.

We found Dale Cooper thru a if reality be told flattering shout out in Paper Magazine’s most new round-up of hipster porn stars. We are going to be correct with you, hipster is exactly the most nice looking phrase to remark this man’s model. You know what barely about a phrases impart? Scorching, barely about a, nice looking, FOREARMS, refreshing, sweet, soiled, playful, FOREARMS. 
Are you starting up to receive the premise? See this video. Then we are able to discuss extra. If you occupy got wiped the drool off your collective faces. 
Is it a minute bit engaging that he presents a rubber ducky a facial? Obvious. We’re not substantial on judgements round right here though, and likewise FOREARMS.
Look, we realize this conundrum elegant intimately, but if taking pictures elegant video, taking note of abnormal traces of serious bodies, surroundings your video to a soundtrack of one thing beside untrue moans and groans, and if reality be told acting to be beautiful your want for pleasure provide an explanation for “hipster porn,” then we fucking adore hipster porn. And we fucking adore Dale Cooper. 
Hello, our names are Violet and Rye and we occupy now a crush on a cheerful porn star. FOREARMS.

V+R’s Top Ten Must Be taught MakeLoveNotPorn Videos Listing.

V+R’s Top Ten Must Be taught MakeLoveNotPorn Videos Listing.

Did you be half of MakeLoveNotPorn.tv but? Maybe to grasp a examine out our videos? Or now not decrease than the trailers? When you occur to have not, you ought to, it be free to affix, so kind it already!

When you occur to DID be half of and maybe rented a pair of of our vids but are wondering what else is price checking out, we’re here to assist. We grasp rented a handful of videos and we grasp been taking half in what we grasp considered. So that is a checklist of our 5 favourite videos that we grasp rented, and a checklist of 5 we will rent real rapidly. Oh, and there are illustrations, because these illustrations are going to make blood stride to ingredients on your pants, and that is the reason continually a fine element to portion.


V+R’s “Top 5 ‘Receive Us Going (In Our Parts) MakeLoveNotPorn Videos’ Listing”

1. DALE COOPER AND COLBY KELLER. Severely, factual scrutinize the trailer. Or now not it is shapely (we didn’t factual imagine doing our fresh video in shaded and white out of nowhere). Stunningly properly filmed. Edited wonderfully. And stars two incredibly shapely males. And as well they’re smiling. And laughing. And doing a little fully sizzling shit. Also, FOREARMS.

2. BZ and Gloria. We’re cheerful that these two are fellow MakeLoveNotPornstars, as we grasp known about Balthazar and his unbelievable pictures abilities for a spread of years. They were ready to translate this fashion to video beautifully and as if that weren’t acceptable adequate, the chemistry between this married couple is palpable. Severely, it be in our mouths. Love, ALL UP IN IT. Oh, this moreover contains presumably the most nonchalant fisting ever. Because is never for all time truly that what #RealWorldSex is about? Shit, it be handiest kinky the first time, then it be factual something you kind continuously (or your total time).


3. Nebbish and Goddess. We love the leopard. We love the dialog. We love the extra than one angles. We love the Liberator pillow. We love the alive to cunnilingus. We love the very real, very laborious orgasm. We grasp gotta accept the sort of Liberators…

4. Mr. and Mrs. Lau. We’re on a boat, motherfuckers! Drinking pussy, motherfuckers! On a motherfucking boat!!! However yeah, as that you can moreover presumably bet, this used to be filmed on a boat. He is in point of fact alive to, which is the ability we love our pussy eaters to be. And it be fully sizzling. MAKE MORE VIDEOS, GUYS, WHY IS THIS THE ONLY ONE? ALSO, SHOW US MORE OF HIM NEXT TIME!

5. Audiosmut. We’re reasonably voyeuristic. And reasonably exhibitionist (DUH). And followers of coffee. And being sexually sneaky. So the root of the actual person sitting next to you at your native cafe getting worked up adequate to lock the door and grasp at it in a transient solo session is one we’re swish into. Or now not it is handheld, there’s a total lot of “what am I seeing exactly” and anonymous. Plus, it be made by the very supreme girls at Audiosmut and for radio producers, a swish impressive exhibiting for a rare video foray.

And now the “5 Videos We Haven’t Considered However Are On Our MUST RENT Listing” checklist:

1. BZ and Gloria. Yes, but again. This time, they make a lumber to a B&B for the weekend and BRING A FRIEND TO FILM THEM. As folks who grasp usually uttered, “it be so laborious to shoot this” one day of our videos, the root of a friend taking adjust of that half is something we’re swish intrigued by. Plus, having stayed in a pair of B&B’s and know how naughty it ought to feel to grasp sex in a single, we know properly the heightened sexual arousal they’re presumably below whereas this video used to be being made. Maybe we ought to factual rent it now…

2. Nebbish and Goddess. Possess we ever discussed how powerful we love assplay? Oh, we now grasp? OVER AND OVER?? Yeah, that sounds correct. Properly, seems Nebbish and Goddess kind too. So we’re swish powerful going to grasp a examine out factual how powerful they revel in it. Oh, and bonus components for pulling it off in a peaceful country inn (we’re sensing a theme here).

3. ModestyAblaze. We grasp now not decided which video but, but we grasp been that suggests to rent one of them. They factual see so sizzling. Plus, we now have to admit, we’re queer about her relationship with her husband and followers and the blueprint in which it all works. A essential hand video demonstration of 1 element of it helps. We’re into it.

4. HavingFun. They’re having enjoyable, alright. With editing. Just a few angles. Focal fluctuate. Spanking. The total acceptable stuff that we’re total suckers for. Plus, as anybody who’s considered our Overjoyed video, the Tom Waits soundalike in this extra long, extra juicy trailer is speaking our language.

5. Ela Darling. We’re PRETTY into her. That ability we’re moreover swish into staring at her grasp sex with a longtime crush of hers, Aaliyah Devour. Plus, the phrase “I find it irresistible whereas you’re creepy” is uttered within the trailer.

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